tisdag 15 oktober 2013

Finding and Defining Enjoyment

Welcome to the October edition of the Simply Living Blog Carnival - Enjoyment cohosted by Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children, Laura at Authentic Parenting, Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy, and Joella at Fine and Fair. This month, we write about what brings joy to our lives. Please check out the links to posts by our other participants at the end of this post.

As I've found out that time is not actually given, it's a matter of prioritizing, I've taken the time to slow down to figure out what I actually enjoy. What energizes me? While being a working mom (as the majority of moms where I live) to four kids; two teenagers, one middle schooler and a preschooler, the fact that my preschooler has given up naptime and instead falls asleep earlier in the evening, has allowed me some preschooler free hours each night in a life otherwise lived rather hectic. These hours I've prioritized slowing down, neglecting the piles of dirty laundry, piles of dishes a cluttered home and other unpleasant tasks and instead spent a small amount of this time each night, figuring out what I enjoy. I summarize my days and have committed to notice what energizes me each day for some weeks now. Other people have hobbies and don't have to think about the answer when someone asks them about what they enjoy, but this hasn't been an easy question on my behalf. Maybe this is kind of odd. I don't know. 

What I've found out so far is that I enjoy working together as number one. It could be hanging or folding laundry together, moving and brushing tiles for our roof-renovation, loading the trailer or cooking or whatever. I enjoy the connecting opportunity that opens up when sharing work together, especially with my three older kids. No matter how hard the work may be physically, working together energizes my spirit. Working together often means laughter and chatting. And I become a happier mom.

We have bought these houses with a little piece of land that is highly in need of renovation. We all have different goals for this project. We all have different dreams. One of my major goals on the process of working on them is connecting, working together as a means to connect. Pure enjoyment.

I enjoy playing boardgames with the kids or just taking a walk or playing badminton together and of course on top too; family-time including my husband.

I also enjoy reading books and blogs that inspire me in my life during those evening hours. And put my thoughts on print to make them clear to myself and make my goals more distinct, often by a draft for a blogpost.  Unfortunately I enjoy it so much that it sometimes actually makes me miss out on that life. Almost like: "Sorry, I'm reading about how to be a better mom so I can't enjoy being a good mom right now, honey". I understand that I need to put up boundaries on my reading and put a real effort on living those changes more. Now.

I try to enjoy my everyday life, the short time with my youngest before I go to work, the time when I come home, days off and weekends.

I enjoy dreamweaving, planning for the future, reading, collecting facts, lining up the opportunities. For a simpler life and step by step live those dreams. It's energizing.

I enjoy sewing clothes but I haven't prioritized it lately. It takes time from goals that I prioritize higher. I think about sewing projects and have a lot of ideas and piles of clothes to redo and make new creations from but I don't actually get to it. In order to declutter my mind I ought to get to those piles of ideas crowding up inside of me. Maybe why I don't prioritize this interest is because it's all me, it doesn't include anyone else, ok the kids will get new clothes but it's not about relationships and then I don't prioritize it. Maybe it's because sewing takes a lot of time and even if it energizes me at the moment it makes me tired afterwards. It consumes me. And I get all rapt up in it. I actually am a person who easily gets rapt up.

Enjoyment is also a choice. What do I choose to enjoy? Can I choose to enjoy "unpleasant tasks" for instance? Can I stop seeing them as obstacles for doing what I consider essential, the things I really want to do, and instead as means to get there? Could I take them on mindfully and enjoy them, one by one, step by step, not thinking about the next chore and the next after that? Thinking instead about the enjoyment a completed task brings and the enjoyment that comes with a cleaner, less cluttered home for instance? Can I give up "me" while completing them? Talking about enjoyment and what energizes me leads to thoughts about what drains me and number one on that list is working alone when I know my older kids could have helped me out and I know they're not doing anything in particular instead. Most important; I could have more time with them if they helped out more. If I give up on self-pity in those moments and concentrate on the task and the outcome of it long term I would be happier, that's for sure, and even enjoy them.


Thank you for visiting the Simply Living Blog Carnival cohosted by Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children, Laura at Authentic Parenting, Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy, and Joella at Fine and Fair. Read about how others are make their lives joyful. We hope you will join us next month!
  • No, She Doesn't Sleep Through the Night - And It's Not So Bad! - This post on Partners in Kind is about our family sleep habits, how we tried CIO, and how our family learned to let go of the 'standard' in order to enjoy a good nights rest for all of us.
  • Don't Do Anything That Isn't Play - Momma Bee at Raising a Revolution is inspired by Marshall Rosenberg's (nonviolent communication) advice "don't do anything that isn't pay" to find the enjoyment in doing even the most mundane and disliked tasks.
  • Shared Hobbies - Jorje of Momma Jorje shares her progression of hobbies, since hobbies can wax and wane. She also explains why sharing a hobby makes it the best.
  • The Joy - Relaxation Relation - At Authentic Parenting, Laura discovered how much enjoyment is related to relaxation.
  • Finding and Defining Enjoyment - Anneli at Mamman i det gula huset shares what she enjoys, her thoughts on how she has found truly enjoyment through self-reflection and how to find enjoyment in every day tasks.
  • Simply Enjoying Life - Mandy tries to focus on enjoying life at Living Peacefully with Children by cutting out some things and changing her perspective on others.

2 kommentarer:

  1. There seems to be a common theme in many of this month's posts: the choice to enjoy. I think life is much more enjoyable when we approach it with mindfulness. Thank you for joining the Simply Living Blog carnival this month!

  2. I love that your number one thing is working together. That is really inspiring.