My Choice

Last year I wrote this post about finding and defining enjoyment. I'm picking up the thread on joy as a choise. It's really about focusing on remembering that those everyday tasks are chosen. At least some of those things that needs to be done can be turned into enjoyment when identified as chosen to fill this life. Instead of thinking about completing a task or what must be done after, it's about focusing on that I've chosen to do it. This is what I want in my life. This is what I choose. This is where I want to be. It's a way to maintain and redirect my energy by remembering I am doing what makes me happy which allows my mind to slip into a state of blissful reverie as my body enjoys the physical pleasure of the task, if it's that kind of task (which these never ending things that I've originally chosen often are).

Finding and Defining Enjoyment

Welcome to the October edition of the Simply Living Blog Carnival - Enjoyment cohosted by Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children, Laura at Authentic Parenting, Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy, and Joella at Fine and Fair. This month, we write about what brings joy to our lives. Please check out the links to posts by our other participants at the end of this post.

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As I've found out that time is not actually given, it's a matter of prioritizing, I've taken the time to slow down to figure out what I actually enjoy. What energizes me? While being a working mom (as the majority of moms where I live) to four kids; two teenagers, one middle schooler and a preschooler, the fact that my preschooler has given up naptime and instead falls asleep earlier in the evening, has allowed me some preschooler free hours each night in a life otherwise lived rather hectic. These hours I've prioritized slowing down, neglecting the piles of dirty laundry, piles of dishes a cluttered home and other unpleasant tasks and instead spent a small amount of this time each night, figuring out what I enjoy. I summarize my days and have committed to notice what energizes me each day for some weeks now. Other people have hobbies and don't have to think about the answer when someone asks them about what they enjoy, but this hasn't been an easy question on my behalf. Maybe this is kind of odd. I don't know. 

What I've found out so far is that I enjoy working together as number one. It could be hanging or folding laundry together, moving and brushing tiles for our roof-renovation, loading the trailer or cooking or whatever. I enjoy the connecting opportunity that opens up when sharing work together, especially with my three older kids. No matter how hard the work may be physically, working together energizes my spirit. Working together often means laughter and chatting. And I become a happier mom.

We have bought these houses with a little piece of land that is highly in need of renovation. We all have different goals for this project. We all have different dreams. One of my major goals on the process of working on them is connecting, working together as a means to connect. Pure enjoyment.

I enjoy playing boardgames with the kids or just taking a walk or playing badminton together and of course on top too; family-time including my husband.

I also enjoy reading books and blogs that inspire me in my life during those evening hours. And put my thoughts on print to make them clear to myself and make my goals more distinct, often by a draft for a blogpost.  Unfortunately I enjoy it so much that it sometimes actually makes me miss out on that life. Almost like: "Sorry, I'm reading about how to be a better mom so I can't enjoy being a good mom right now, honey". I understand that I need to put up boundaries on my reading and put a real effort on living those changes more. Now.

I try to enjoy my everyday life, the short time with my youngest before I go to work, the time when I come home, days off and weekends.

I enjoy dreamweaving, planning for the future, reading, collecting facts, lining up the opportunities. For a simpler life and step by step live those dreams. It's energizing.

I enjoy sewing clothes but I haven't prioritized it lately. It takes time from goals that I prioritize higher. I think about sewing projects and have a lot of ideas and piles of clothes to redo and make new creations from but I don't actually get to it. In order to declutter my mind I ought to get to those piles of ideas crowding up inside of me. Maybe why I don't prioritize this interest is because it's all me, it doesn't include anyone else, ok the kids will get new clothes but it's not about relationships and then I don't prioritize it. Maybe it's because sewing takes a lot of time and even if it energizes me at the moment it makes me tired afterwards. It consumes me. And I get all rapt up in it. I actually am a person who easily gets rapt up.

Enjoyment is also a choice. What do I choose to enjoy? Can I choose to enjoy "unpleasant tasks" for instance? Can I stop seeing them as obstacles for doing what I consider essential, the things I really want to do, and instead as means to get there? Could I take them on mindfully and enjoy them, one by one, step by step, not thinking about the next chore and the next after that? Thinking instead about the enjoyment a completed task brings and the enjoyment that comes with a cleaner, less cluttered home for instance? Can I give up "me" while completing them? Talking about enjoyment and what energizes me leads to thoughts about what drains me and number one on that list is working alone when I know my older kids could have helped me out and I know they're not doing anything in particular instead. Most important; I could have more time with them if they helped out more. If I give up on self-pity in those moments and concentrate on the task and the outcome of it long term I would be happier, that's for sure, and even enjoy them.

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Thank you for visiting the Simply Living Blog Carnival cohosted by Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children, Laura at Authentic Parenting, Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy, and Joella at Fine and Fair. Read about how others are make their lives joyful. We hope you will join us next month!

• No, She Doesn't Sleep Through the Night - And It's Not So Bad! - This post on Partners in Kind is about our family sleep habits, how we tried CIO, and how our family learned to let go of the 'standard' in order to enjoy a good nights rest for all of us.
• Don't Do Anything That Isn't Play - Momma Bee at Raising a Revolution is inspired by Marshall Rosenberg's (nonviolent communication) advice "don't do anything that isn't pay" to find the enjoyment in doing even the most mundane and disliked tasks.
• Shared Hobbies - Jorje of Momma Jorje shares her progression of hobbies, since hobbies can wax and wane. She also explains why sharing a hobby makes it the best.
• The Joy - Relaxation Relation - At Authentic Parenting, Laura discovered how much enjoyment is related to relaxation.
• Finding and Defining Enjoyment - Anneli at Mamman i det gula huset shares what she enjoys, her thoughts on how she has found truly enjoyment through self-reflection and how to find enjoyment in every day tasks.
• Simply Enjoying Life - Mandy tries to focus on enjoying life at Living Peacefully with Children by cutting out some things and changing her perspective on others.

The Simple Woman's Daybook

Thoughts of one of those who are trying to focus on simplicity...beauty of the everyday moments. 

FOR TODAY

Outside my window...It's totally dark. It's 19.50 P.M.

I am thinking...about my little one sleeping in my bed and the little time that was given to connecct with him before he fell asleep tonight ,this weekend we will be together all the time, next week I have a free day, going to Blombacka for the weekend, maybe staying over night, hoping for much connection time with some of my kids, working together

I am thankful...that I have these wonderful kids, that I'm growing as their mom and that we have this wonderful project to work on which opens up to creative plans for the future 
In the kitchen...it's really messy

I am wearing...jeans and a pyjamas-shirt

I am creating...dreams coming true

I am going...upstairs soon to tuck my son to bed and to look over my daughter's homework

I am wondering...where I will be in my dreamfullfilment at this time next year and where I will be as a mom and about when my 16-year old will come home. It's getting late. (She's studying maths with her friends).

I am reading...Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids by Laura Mrkham

I am hoping...that my stressed out husband will stay alive, somehow be able to change paths and lead a calmer life soon

I am looking forward to...connecting with my kids upstairs, working together in the weekend, trying some new vegetarian recipes with some help from my little one. (Company in the kitchen makes me happy.) 

I am learning day by day to be a better mom

Around the house...it's as messy as yesterday because I work fulltime this week

I am pondering...about whether starting permaculturing is a realistic dream for next year 

A favorite quote for today...

One of my favorite things...is working together

A few plans for the rest of the week: putting up clothes for sale on Swedish ebay (tradera), mailing sold clothes, do some laundry,  do some tidying up around here

A peek into my day...hrhmm... came home late, dark outside, no pictures today...

Linking with the Simple Woman's Daybook

Sommarens sista bad

 

var uppfriskande svalt, lent,

var glädje, vila, lek

var efterlängtat, välbehövligt, välförtjänat

var blåbärsplock från klippväggar,

var upptäcktsvandring längs strandremsan,

var trädklättring, skratt

var upprymdhet, närhet,

var jord, ljus, vatten, vind

Somliga dagar

När solen värmer och sommaren tvekar och vänder tillbaka ett slag händer det att vi inte hinner suga åt oss alls. Det fyllda glaset bara står där. Allt som oftast. Det byggs på och byggs på, ganska snabbt, och blir till slut för mycket att ta hand om inomhus. Dammsugning, tvätt, matlagning, matplanering och plock, plock, plock. Jag hinner ut en stund för att hänga tvätten bara för att upptäcka just det, att det verkligen är en strålande sommardag, en av de allra sista som man borde ta vara på. Det får oss att kanske lyckas hinna äta mellanmål ute, men inte att spendera mer tid i sommaren genom att flytta ut det liv som kan flyttas. Det blir en onåbar utopi en sådan dag. Det blir istället en innedag och en av sommarens sista dagar går en förbi.

Men det är som det ska vara. Det är bara att gilla läget och inte något som stressar mig om jag noga ser till att det inte gör det. Men jag måste anstränga mig lite. Än så länge. Det finns en tillfredsställelse i innepysslet också även om man allra helst hade velat ta vara på sommardagen. Jag känner mig tillfreds med att sakta bit, för bit, skala bort, rensa, göra rent, en bit i taget, dag för dag. Jag är nöjd med det som ska göras och som jag gör just nu medan jag gör det. Var sak får ta sin tid. Rensa undan och torka vid den köksbänken tills just den lilla biten är klar. Då är i alla fall den klar. Köra tvättmaskinen så är i alla fall det gjort och jag har hunnit med en hel del under dagen som jag kan stryka från listan och fortsätta igen bit för bit nästa dag och nästa. Om några dagar behöver det inte uppta det mesta av tiden utan bara en mindre del. Men ofta hinner jag nästan bara plocka upp alla saker från golvet så att det går att dammsuga och sen kanske dammsuga nedanvåningen och så får allt stå kvar och så blir det ovanvåningen nästa dag. För det händer ju så mycket. Livet pågår. Men man hinner ikapp. Hinna-ikapp-dagar behövs och jag känner mig tillfreds i slutet av dagen. För det jag har gjort.

Lova med Jum-Jum

“There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West.“

JRR Tolkien - The Hobbit

God Morgon

"God Morgon" sa Bilbo, 

och han menade det. 

Solen sken och gräset var grönt. 

Men Gandalf såg på honom under buskiga ögonbryn 

som stack ut längre än brättet på hans hatt.

"Vad menar du?" frågade han. 

Önskar du mig en god morgon, 

eller menar du att det är en god morgon vare sig jag vill eller ej; 

eller att du känner dig god denna morgon; 

eller att det är en morgon att vara god på?

"Alltihop samtidigt" svarade Bilbo.

JRR Tolkien, Hobbiten

Bärplockardagar och upptäckardagar

Vi har plockat bär hos barnens farbror...

...och hos barnens farmor

...men allra mest bär har vi på Blombacka. Det finns röda hallon och gula(!) Vi visste inte förut att det fanns gula! De är lite större och godare! Mer orangegula än bilden visar. Vi har massor av röda hallon. Man ser inte så långt framför sig på vår mark, men när man röjer väg och skymtar något längre bort är det oftast...hallon, hallon , hallon och ...hallon. Jag plockade hallon i stilla sommarregn och så småningom i ösregn. Det är inte så lätt att snabbt ta sig ifrån vår lilla vildmark. 

När regnat stillnat efter natten gick jag med Lova och Elvin på upptäcktsfärd. Spännande att se och lära känna vår mark och vad som fanns där. Vi banade oss en stig för att nå fram till åkern. Det finns så mycket mer att utforska!

Bakom oss har vi huset.

Lova provade att bara falla bakåt...

Det börjar lätta lite, vegetationen blir mer genomtränglig och vi kan se åkern där våra ägor slutar.

Ja vi har mycket hallon men ännu mer svarta vinbär.

Lova och jag plockade vinbär och hällde efterhand över i en större hink.

Agneta tipsade om råsaftcentrifug. Man kokar inte bären när man gör saft utan fryser in dem. Det blir mer näringsämnen bevarade då. Ska läsa på om det och kanske införskaffa en sådan vid ett senare tillfälle. Just nu är egentligen inte bärplockning prio ett. Men man kan ju inte låta bli. Jag har inte gillat att äta svarta vinbär direkt förut men har faktiskt ändrat mig. De största smakar som krusbär.

Ulf sågade träd vi tidigare fällt

“There are no safe paths in this part of the world. 

Remember you are over the Edge of the Wild now, 

and in for all sorts of fun wherever you go.” 

JRR Tolkien  - The Hobbit

The truth is...

...this is not the whole truth. What a surprise! As if you didn't know that blogs usually not give the whole picture. But at the same time, what I present here is totally true. I write this as an answer to my daughter's comment on my recent post.

This is a place to calm down
This is a place where I want to be
This is a place presenting what I want more of in my life
This is a place where I grow
This is a place where my life, dreams and plans get direction and definition.
This is a place that requires focus which makes me aim for a more focused life in a positive way
This is a place which makes me do more
This is a place which makes my life slow down. It doesn't pass me by as much
This is a place which forces me to at least try to take the time to notice and appreciate and choose what's important
This is glimpses, everyday contemplations once in a while, crafted stuff and occasionally opinions.
This is a place to go back to. 
What did we do at this time last year? 
How did we celebrate this or that? 
What did I want to add for this year?

My life is often chaotic
My life is often messy
My life is often crazy
My life is often stressful
My life is often in despair
It's weariness, annoyance, anger

One child whines
One child laughs an teases
Another is contemptous
And one is simply, silently ignoring

Often they totally drain me


Then there are these precious moments that I want to hold on to, these moments that I'm now able to catch and cling on to.

This is a place where I can put some of these moments
This is a place where I learn to notice and focus on the beauty in life
Sometimes afterwards
But I'm heading for presence
I'm getting closer to now

At least I'm never flashy
At least I'm never hollow

I'm not superficial

Tingens ordning

Tror jag ska försöka fokusera övervägande på en sak i taget under en period och sen skifta och se hur det funkar. Jag börjar med prylarna; städning, röjning, försäljning. Det känns mest akut och har absolut mest påverkan på välbefinnandet just nu. Detta kan ta hur lång tid som helst men jag bestämmer en tidsram och sen blir det nå't annat som får komma främst.

Eventuellt kommer jag att testa att starta upp lite odling igen under påsklovet då jag ska vara ledig. Det blir nästa sak att satsa på. Jag vill också hinna med att sy ett par byxor till Timon innan påsk och så ska jag hjälpa Elvin lite med hans mini-trähus så att det blir klart innan påsk. Påskkycklingarna kunde ju få bo där tillfälligt tänkte vi. Sen kan jag ta lite av varje igen som jag gjort förut. Greja med prylar, städa, röja och sälja ett par dagar i veckan. Har kommit överens med Emmy att hon ska ta över det mesta av försäljningen och få procent på vinsten. Annat som delegeras här hemma är matlagning. Barnen har vars en matlagningsdag i veckan.

När det gäller odling och övrigt utejobb fortsättningsvis ska vi återinföra trädgårdsschemat från i höstas som fungerade bra, åtminstone tills Ulf skulle vara med. Där blev det stopp tyvärr. Han jobbar ju så mycket. Man sköter utejobbet två och två en vecka var. Vi får göra det vi andra och inte ha med Ulf i det här så att det blir stopp igen.

Focusing on uncluttering for a couple of weeks I hope will become a step in releasing space and concentrating life on what's essential..

Get the whole family to participate in everyday efforts

Trying to start up some kind of smallscale self-sufficiency gardening; 

an attempt to leap right into the essentials of activity, trying how the suit will fit this year, with a background of growing ideas on the reasons why;
  

Essentials of Simplicity, Closeness,wholeheartedness

Connection through activity

Because it's necessary

Space and life together because it's the only way